ElephantsNever.com is proud to support the March For Our Lives. Let’s make the ground rumble so they never forget.
Author: Andre
Acquit
“Guilty on all counts,” read the forewoman, setting off a flurry of reactions and camera flashes. Alice collapsed back into her chair, too stunned to care about decorum, too cold suddenly to react in any other way. It was such bullshit. But everything had gone wrong since she’d met that white tortoise in the FedEx uniform, so Alice didn’t know Read More
St. Patrick’s Day After
Happy Day After St. Patrick’s Day to all of our authentic, adopted, and appropriating Irish friends! Elephants never forgo, so we forgive you feeling a bit delicate today.
Transmit
“Damn! They just took out the eastern control tower.” First officer Anders slammed his gloved hand against the bridge display. “They’re definitely coming in force then,” pronounced Captain Caldwell. “All crews to their ships, Anders, and we must alert the planet.” The first officer barely glanced up from his monitor while hurrying to relay the order. “Yes, sir,” Anders replied. “Ensign Read More
Elephants Never Sit, Cane
Don’t forget to check out the modern impact of this age-old aphorism. And whether armed with cane or not, remember our guidelines for when to offer your seat on a public subway or bus.
Offer Your Seat
Would you offer your seat to someone on a public bus or subway? To whom would you offer it? I have my own criteria, which may not be as chivalrous as people like. First, though, some context. New York City Public Transit Unbelievably, I have been living in New York City for nine years. There was a time when I Read More
Sit
Ellerey wobbled and swayed as he walked. His ears drooped more than usual, he knew, and sweat pooled where his hat met his gray scalp. The big male felt exhausted, but an age-old aphorism kept him on his feet. At least he could rest on the subway. First fifteen minutes of respite until his station, then one last trudge to Read More
Pachyderm Playlists
Please enjoy these two pachyderm playlists, trunk-selected by DJ Desi Derm to demonstrate elephants’ broad range (musical and geographical), as well as his own commitment to live performance (elephants never preset). DJ Desi Derm’s Local Rumbles These songs, from a range of styles and cultures, represent elephants’ peak geographical range. Tsotsi (Gangster) by Amabutho Featuring three marimba players plus other Read More
Preset
The music thrums, an electric Bhangra beat full of quick hits and sharp highs. It’s catchy, dubstep marrying “Beware of the Boys” with a sonic antigravity that pulls my feet off the floor. I smile, enjoying myself. Aakash, more than enjoying, freaks out as the DJ pulls us through another tonal transition. “Holy balls of Shiva, man!” He yells in Read More