“Come on, dude, just try it,” said Geoff, pushing the transparent sphere at Pacey. The big male shoved it away. His ears flapped as he shook his head.
“Nope, not happening,” Pacey said.
“What? Come on,” chirped Geoff. “It’s a friggin’ crystal ball! Take it for a spin.”
“Elephants never foretell,” said Pacey.
“What? What is that? A family motto?” Geoff lightly punched his friend’s gray shoulder.
“Nah, my mom used to say it. ‘Elephants never foretell,’” mimicked Pacey. “Like, one time my sis started getting into tarot during her Goth phase. Mom burned the cards and yelled at her.”
“Dude! But aren’t you, like, curious about your future?”
“Um, we’re more about remembering our past in my family. Plus, Mom got more hardcore about it after her friend the rhino had a disastrous reading with some Madame Carlotta.”
“O-kay. So how about I check out your future?” suggested Geoff.
“I don’t know, I guess—”
“Wait! I see it! Look.” Geoff pulled the transparent sphere closer to his body, shielding its contents from the pachyderm.
“What? What?” Pacey tried and failed to get a look at the crystal.
“I see the captain of the football team,” intoned Geoff. “He’s with a cheerleader. He can’t get it up! Now everyone’s laughing at him. Wait, now he’s got a gun – an elephant gun. Oh no! Pacey, he just shot you, and he’s cutting your tusks off.” Geoff’s voice started to rise. “They’re getting ground into his protein shake. Damn, he’s hard now! No!” Geoff clutched Pacey’s arm. “I don’t want you to become cock food!” he wailed. False sobs dissolved into uproarious laughter.
Looking pissed, Pacey shoved Geoff away and trumpeted in his face.
“That’s fucked, dude.”
“Nah, I love you, bro,” Geoff chuckled and wiped tears from his eyes.
“But seriously,” he reached for Pacey’s tusk. “Can I just shave a bit off before my date on Friday?”