Would you offer your seat to someone on a public bus or subway? To whom would you offer it? I have my own criteria, which may not be as chivalrous as people like. First, though, some context.
New York City Public Transit
Unbelievably, I have been living in New York City for nine years. There was a time when I would have scoffed at the possibility of that ever happening. Now, well, it’s home.
I don’t know if you’ve ever visited NYC, but we have serious public transportation here. You can ride an MTA subway from Coney Island in south Brooklyn to the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx, 30 miles away. It will take you 90 minutes, but hey. To get to my Midtown office building from my in-laws’ house in southern Staten Island, I take a free train and ferry, followed by a quick walk and a subway transfer. And there are so many buses that streets, tunnels, and bridges have designated bus lanes to keep the rush-hour flow going. Some kind of public transit runs 24/7/365, with only occasional shutdowns due to snowstorms and hurricanes.
Still, 8.5 million people live in NYC, and the MTA calculates that people take about 8 million rides on its subway and buses during an average weekday. As you can imagine, therefore, seats on a train or bus are like gold. They occupy the same level of currency as pens in restaurants, clean toilet seats in public restrooms, and heaters in cold offices. If the MTA could figure out a reliable way to monetize them (you know, beyond the fare price), they would. The person who writes an app for reserving subway seats will be the first actual gazillionaire.
When to Offer Your Seat
Now that you understand my reality, here is my list of the people whom you should offer your seat to:
- anyone pregnant (counts double since they are growing a new human inside);
- anyone obviously needing assistance to walk or stand; and
- anyone under 12 or older than 60 (like with discounted admission prices).
That’s it.
You’re a fit, 25-year-old woman? Tough, enjoy holding onto the bar. Equality means our butts enjoy the same seating privileges. You just hit the shops on 5th Ave and have 6 bags? Hmm, make sure you tuck those between your feet so others can stand next to you. Pooch riding with you in a bag? Well, maybe Fido can have my seat.
There are exceptions – parents with small children, people coming off long work shifts that keep them on their feet (think nurses and food service workers). I like using the eye test for general level of need and exhaustion. And it’s also important to make someone’s day when you. Let families and friends be together. Say yes if someone has the courage to ask for your seat.
Otherwise, if you have a perch for your tush, keep to the code and don’t give it back. Don’t believe that elephants never sit.