Please enjoy these two pachyderm playlists, trunk-selected by DJ Desi Derm to demonstrate elephants’ broad range (musical and geographical), as well as his own commitment to live performance (elephants never preset). DJ Desi Derm’s Local Rumbles These songs, from a range of styles and cultures, represent elephants’ peak geographical range. Tsotsi (Gangster) by Amabutho Featuring three marimba players plus other Read More
Tag: an elephant never
Preset
The music thrums, an electric Bhangra beat full of quick hits and sharp highs. It’s catchy, dubstep marrying “Beware of the Boys” with a sonic antigravity that pulls my feet off the floor. I smile, enjoying myself. Aakash, more than enjoying, freaks out as the DJ pulls us through another tonal transition. “Holy balls of Shiva, man!” He yells in Read More
Martial Arts Movies
I blame Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. With The Karate Kid, they made me believe that a scrawny white boy could become a combat master. And, for children in my generation, they provided a family-friendly gateway into the world of martial arts movies. Having dashed exuberantly through that door, I have never looked back. Dojo Dreams “I lied, I don’t Read More
Forewarn
“Southern Gray Style requires mastery of opposing elements, young male.” The elder monkey knuckle-walked languidly around her new student. “Solid earth forms the base, while each movement shows the fluidity of water.” The young male tried to keep his eyes straight, to maintain discipline. But he found his gaze drawn to the older female’s muscular arms, and to the silver Read More
Commit
Teddy sat on the bench and sobbed. Around him, gathering clouds had driven most other people out of the park. But Teddy didn’t care. Pasua’s rejection had ruined the romantic view long before the clouds came. Now, the darkening sky matched Teddy’s mood. Against his will, Teddy’s eyes found the gray, felt box where it lay discarded on the bench. Read More
5 Foods Elephants Never Forgo
Let’s face it, the average pachyderm weighs between 3-7 tons, and may spend up to 16 hours a day eating. They should and do reach for third helpings of everything. For the sake of fun and human-pachyderm bonding, though, let’s run through a list of 5 foods elephants never forgo. Amarula on the branch – While pachyderms eat marula fruit Read More
Forgo
“Whoa, fella, don’t you think it might be time to call it a night? You’re hitting the buffet line pretty hard.” I turn, a fistful of shrimp dangling over my plate. Denise is giving me the hairy eyeball and looking meaningfully at my selections. I discreetly replace the ladle of pasta salad with my trunk, and do my best to Read More
Faithful Fan
Tonight, the New England Patriots football team will square off against the Philadelphia Eagles in Minneapolis, Minnesota to contest Super Bowl LII. I have rooted for New England since 1987, and I have seen beautiful and horrid Super Bowls. I believe myself a faithful fan, but I don’t know how much of the game I’ll watch. After all, the Patriots Read More
Credit Without Controversy
Elephants never admit when people surprise them. But even critics of Colin Kaepernick should take a moment to applaud the results of his Million Dollar Pledge. Now, I know the Kaepernick brand has generated a mix of strong opinions recently. For some good deeds, however, we ought to give credit without controversy. And giving a million dollars to charity? That’s do-gooding we Read More
Forfeit
The hockey game was over. Like, it had been over since midway through the second period, nearly fifteen minutes of game time earlier. But there was Elphege, still throwing his weight around out front, trumpeting at his teammates to keep skating, and pissing off the other bench with way-too-hard hits for a blowout. When the ref gave him a double Read More