“There, seeker,” intoned the elder pachyderm. “In that grove you will find the entrance to the underworld.” Abhita swallowed once and clutched her sitar. “Very well, I am ready. Lead on.” “No, I go no further,” the tusk-less male replied. “Elephants never descend into the shadows, whether for dream-jewel or life-treasure. Pursue your dead child on your own.” Abhita strummed Read More
Tag: elephants never
Reset
Dr. Pam stood solemnly, watching her child transform into a monster. Across three screens, blue code tumbled in an ever-increasing cascade, while other interfaces flashed warning pop-ups and sounded alarms. Somehow, the AI named Eleph834 was trashing the Nets, Webs, and server prisons built to contain it. Soon, it would burst free to wreak havoc on the larger world of Read More
Forbear
“I mean, I know she loves me more than him. But I worry, you know, that he’s got too many chains on her – the kids, the house, their foundation. He will just do something to keep us apart.” Ken sat despondent, stuck in the tight corner of a love triangle. Around the table, his friends exchanged meaningful glances and searched for Read More
Winter Clothing Reveal
The results are in! Thank you to everyone who participated in our winter clothing poll here on the site, or through Twitter and Instagram. Now to present the winner: Icy Glass! We’ll be wearing this attire for the duration of winter, and you may see the other designs pop up again. Complete results are below for those so inclined. Clothing Read More
Winter Clothing Poll
Help us pick our winter clothes! Vote below for as many designs as you like. We’ll keep the voting open until Santa comes to our neighborhood (11:59 PM EST). And we’ll reveal the winner on Christmas Day. If you like, you can also vote by liking or retweeting each design on Twitter (@AnElephantNever) or Instagram (@anelephantnever).
Elephants never have debt
by Kate Dowling “I’m paying!” “No, I’ll pay.” “But it’s my turn!” “No,” I said, hoping it would be the last word. “I’m paying. And it is my turn. Don’t you remember? You paid last month.” “That’s right!” said Delilah. “Cocktails for Sinatra’s birthday. Everyone should celebrate that.” She beamed, but a sudden thought made the smile disappear. “Don’t I Read More
Covet
Why ‘bastard’? Wherefore ‘base’? … I grow, I prosper. Now, gods, stand up for bastards! – Edmund, ‘King Lear’ by William Shakespeare My handlers repeat the proscription like a mantra, whenever my eyes fill with envy: Elephants never covet. A litany of warnings fill their mouths, like a burning acacia tree speaking Pachyderm Commandments. Elephants never foment, never dissent, never… there it Read More
Target
“What do you mean, ‘The servers are all down’? Don’t we have redundancy or something, in case one of them fails?” “Yes, but Ebron knocked all of the servers offline at the same time. They are redundantly down now.” “How did he get in? I thought we temporarily turned off permissions for anyone being let go, just in case they Read More
Connect
She flutters through cyberspace like a ponderous, punctured zeppelin. A couple likes here, some right-swiping there, her trunk trawls the surface of communities in passing. But she never plunges in to join the interactive, GIF-sharing multitudes. Despite their herd backgrounds, elephants never connect. Not like this anyway, she muses. Hashtags and hand-waves, she gets no closer. Then, her interactions begin Read More
Medicate
by Normand Lepine Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.” – Charlie Brown, Peanuts (Charles M. Schulz) I was a young bull running with my herd when I hurt my shoulder. They gave me something strong for the pain. Read More