Daria Tessler

Feast your eyes on this pachyderm-filled dreamscape by Daria Tessler of Animalsleepstories. Silkscreened on archival paper, this artwork so amused me that I held onto it at Christmas time. It’s true that elephants never ascend, but they do enjoy the occasional boost! I met Daria herself at the Union Square Holiday Market in downtown Manhattan. After chatting about artistic drive, Read More

Sit

Ellerey wobbled and swayed as he walked. His ears drooped more than usual, he knew, and sweat pooled where his hat met his gray scalp. The big male felt exhausted, but an age-old aphorism kept him on his feet. At least he could rest on the subway. First fifteen minutes of respite until his station, then one last trudge to Read More

Pachyderm Playlists

Please enjoy these two pachyderm playlists, trunk-selected by DJ Desi Derm to demonstrate elephants’ broad range (musical and geographical), as well as his own commitment to live performance (elephants never preset).  DJ Desi Derm’s Local Rumbles These songs, from a range of styles and cultures, represent elephants’ peak geographical range. Tsotsi (Gangster) by Amabutho Featuring three marimba players plus other Read More

Preset

The music thrums, an electric Bhangra beat full of quick hits and sharp highs. It’s catchy, dubstep marrying “Beware of the Boys” with a sonic antigravity that pulls my feet off the floor. I smile, enjoying myself. Aakash, more than enjoying, freaks out as the DJ pulls us through another tonal transition. “Holy balls of Shiva, man!” He yells in Read More

5 Foods Elephants Never Forgo

Let’s face it, the average pachyderm weighs between 3-7 tons, and may spend up to 16 hours a day eating. They should and do reach for third helpings of everything. For the sake of fun and human-pachyderm bonding, though, let’s run through a list of 5 foods elephants never forgo. Amarula on the branch – While pachyderms eat marula fruit Read More

Forgo

“Whoa, fella, don’t you think it might be time to call it a night? You’re hitting the buffet line pretty hard.” I turn, a fistful of shrimp dangling over my plate. Denise is giving me the hairy eyeball and looking meaningfully at my selections. I discreetly replace the ladle of pasta salad with my trunk, and do my best to Read More

Forfeit

The hockey game was over. Like, it had been over since midway through the second period, nearly fifteen minutes of game time earlier. But there was Elphege, still throwing his weight around out front, trumpeting at his teammates to keep skating, and pissing off the other bench with way-too-hard hits for a blowout. When the ref gave him a double Read More