by Caleb Echterling
At a Greek war council, Odysseus laid out his strategy to end Trojan War 2: Electric Boogaloo. The Greek army would construct a giant wooden steer, and pack it full of explosives. They would roll the steer to the gates of Troy, where the Trojans would see it as a peace offering and take the statue inside the city walls. There’d be a big boom. Et voilà, the Greeks win the war.
“O wise Agamemnon,” Odysseus said, “what do you think of the plan?”
Agamemnon spit into the dirt. “Abominable.”
“Excellent summary. A bomb in a bull. But do you think it will work?”
“It’s abominable.”
“We’ve established that. A bomb goes inside a bull. Let’s move to the assessment of its military effectiveness.”
“Arrgh, you idiot, the plan’s abominable.”
Odysseus rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll start with someone else. Achilles?”
Achilles rubbed Bengay into his aching heel. “Isn’t this basically how the first war ended? Won’t fans of epic poetry be expecting something different?”
“That’s not how sequels work. The first installment was such a tremendous success. One of the classics of Western literature, really. The bean counters in marketing feel we’ll do a stellar box office if we hue as closely as possible to the original.”
Ajax poked up his head from scrubbing toilets. “Won’t someone think of the headlines back home? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the editors at the Sparta Tattler to run a full page banner ‘Abominable Bomb in a Bull’. After delivering that pun-tastic word play to their doorsteps, we’ll all get glowing coverage no matter what happens. I vote aye.”
Caleb Echterling’s recent short story collection combines staid bios with insult comedy, ya filthy bastard. He tweets funny fiction using the highly inventive handle @CalebEchterling. You can find more of his work at www.calebechterling.com.
I love it! It’s my favorite sequel of “Troy Story”!
What a punderful story!