by Suzanne Craig-Whytock
Last week, Sparrow turned to me suddenly and said, “When you die, what do you want me to do with you?” We were watching TV together, cozy under a blanket, his arm around my shoulders. I laughed in surprise, a little taken aback, and answered, “Honey, aren’t you jumping the gun?” He smiled sweetly and said, “You can never plan too far ahead. I just want to do right by you.”
I thought about it for a while. Sparrow was always so considerate, the kind of man who never broke a vow. No matter what I told him, he’d do it. “OK,” I said finally. “Cremate me and keep me in an urn on the mantelpiece.” He nodded, satisfied with the answer.
A couple of nights later, I woke up suddenly. Sparrow wasn’t in bed. I could hear him though, talking softly and sweetly on the phone, making promises to someone else. In the morning, I said, “You know what? I changed my mind. When I die, I want you to build a mausoleum and keep my coffin in there. Then you can visit me when you feel sad.” He laughed but stopped when he saw that I was serious.
His real name was James, but people called him Sparrow because he liked to flit around. We’d been married twelve years, ‘til death do us part, and I never thought he’d flit around on me. I should have told him, “When I die, take my ashes to the top of Everest.” Sparrow was a man of his word, and I knew he’d do right by me, but if he wanted to get rid of me, I wasn’t making things easy for him.
But then I got thinking about the baby, everything else I’d lost, and how unfair it was. So later, when we were all cozied up again, I asked, “Sparrow honey—what do you want me to do with you?”
He laughed, nervous, and answered, “I don’t think we need to worry much about that.”
I smiled sweetly and said, “Oh, but I think we do.” Our eyes locked and it was a long time before either of us looked away.
Suzanne Craig-Whytock is a Canadian writer. Her first novel, Smile, was released in 2017, and her new Young Adult novel, The Dome, was released in October 2019. Her writing has been featured in Slippage Lit, X-R-A-Y Literary Magazine, Women Writers, Women(‘s) Books, Spillwords Press, and Sirens Call. She also has a weird sense of humour, and you can read all about that on her website mydangblog.
Wow!