In case you had not guessed it, I am a fan of elephants — wild pachyderms, cartoon elephants, stuffies, whatever. And I am inclined, in this space, to endorse those adopting an elephant logo, mascot, or business purpose.
Sadly, however, not all who invoke the elephant can be part of this herd. Which brings me to Alabama football. Because contrary to appearances, elephants never Roll Tide.
Pachyderm Pretenders
The University of Alabama football team boasts a raging elephant, Big Al, as a mascot. Why? Because some sportswriter got clever in 1930, and the association stuck. It certainly has nothing to do with the team’s nickname, “Crimson Tide,” except that, again, some sportswriter got clever in 1907.
I will say, the Alabama football team has had a tendency in recent years to elephant stomp all over its opponents. And the offensive and defensive lines continue to resemble small gangs of pachyderms. Still, I find the connection tenuous at best.
Ebb Tide
Now, I went to college somewhere where the football program felt like an afterthought. Freshman year I watched us lose to Lafayette because my friend’s buddy played QB for the other team. It makes me somewhat mercenary about whom I root for on the national level. But, like many fans, I appreciate a good underdog, or a charismatic winner.
The current incarnation of the dark red, Alabama monster is neither underdog nor charismatic. Does it help that I can’t stand the coach? You betcha. Same reason I disliked Florida State when this ole boy was in charge. And heck, any culture that prides college football to the point of burning and poisoning trees is just whack. Still, my fandom doesn’t have to make sense, nor does my rooting against a school I have no first-hand beef with. At the end of the day, I just don’t like ’em.
Iron Eagles
Today, the Alabama and Auburn University football teams play the 82nd Iron Bowl. And I can’t help it: I have to poke the Bear. Though my friends remind me that elephants never forsake their own, I reply, “Free Big Al! War Eagle! War Eagle!”
Go Auburn. Whatever, elephants never submit.