by Normand Lepine
Editor’s Note: Today we have a range of holidays to celebrate. Rather than dance around the maypole, however, we’ve chosen to focus on the modern proletariat. See, many of us have day jobs, side gigs, or straight-up permanent positions. And on International Workers’ Day we stand in solidarity with all those who keep the world running. So march with your union, take a Labor Relations class, or just clock in. We’re with you. And even if elephants never quit, we hope you enjoy these Top 10 Reasons I Know I Need a New Job.
Top 10 Reasons I Know I Need a New Job
10. All I want from my job is an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
9. I’ve come to believe that hard work has a future payoff, but laziness pays off now.
8. Every day at work is another fine day ruined by responsibility.
7. For every action around here there is an equal and opposite criticism.
6. Our engineers say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
5. I haven’t quit, but I do cuss the whole time.
4. My boss says I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.
3. I try not to be difficult at work because with a little bit of effort I can be impossible.
2. Sometimes at work I smack things to make them work, and I’m starting to wish I could do that with people.
1. If I died and went straight to hell it would take two weeks to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.
Normand Lepine is a father to elephants and writer of dreams. By day he works as a consulting executive with more than 30 years of experience providing service to clients and mentoring to colleagues. (And he actually enjoys his current position and company, promise!)
(Don’t forget to check out Normand’s Prospect. – Elephants Never)