Remit

Elephants Never Remit

“Is dis gonna become a ting?”

“No, boss, we’re on it. The guy’s big, but he’s not unreasonable.”

“I eva tell ya how ya shoot a pink elephant?”

“It won’t come to that. Mr. Yderm just needs reminding about his obligations. Tony’s over there now reminding him about the money he owes us.”

“Remindin? I tought dey neva ferget?”

“What? I’m not sure I’ve heard that saying.”

“I know dey listen real good wid dem flappy, big ears. Ya sure ya neva heard bout dem neva fergettin?”

“Nevermind, boss, here’s Tony.”

“Tony, ya talk ta da big gray deadbeat?”

“Yes, boss.”

“Well, come on, Tony. Don’t just stand there wringing your hands. Did he give you the money he owes?”

“He said, ‘Elephants never remit.'”

“Scuse me?”

“Now that saying I’ve heard before. I’m sorry, boss. We should’ve pressed him harder before now.”

“It’s a ting now, innit?”

“Yes, boss, it’s a thing. Tony, did he tell you anything else?”

“He… he trunk-slapped me. He was so big, I couldn’t—”

“It’s alright, Tony. I’m sorry that happened. But did he give you a message?”

“He said the only pile he’d give us was a steaming, huge pile of du—”

“Das it, I’m gettin ma gun. Gonna show youse how ya shoot a elephant so’s he neva fergets!”

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