Elewisa stands at the podium, redirecting dangerous questions while keeping on message. The bright, flashing lights bathe him in heat, and the reporters hunger for a juicy story. Yet, Elewisa’s huge, gray feet do not budge. He remains cool, calm, unflappable. Massive ears shiver in the breeze. (Well, almost unflappable.) A solid boulder amid the chaos. And not a drop betrays the heat or tension.
I’ve heard a lot of theories: Those wide ears channel heat away from his core. Or pachyderms can modulate their temperatures, using selected hot spots to cool vital areas. Whatever. I definitely know that a tailored suit does less than a mud bath to cool a big body off. And even a skinny, human PR specialist would be caving right now. I mean, everyone knows the company is tanking. They just want a spokesperson on record admitting it.
Elewisa deflects another pointed inquiry about our expected Q3 numbers (junk) and calmly indicates one of his planted allies with his trunk. The woman gives Elewisa a chance to make a joke, and the crowd gives him an inch. Not once does that trunk wipe at his brow, while his forelimbs gently embrace the podium. I shake my head in awe.
It must be true, what they say: Elephants never sweat.