A tumbling wave of fireworks, popping champagne corks, and glitter approaches. Soon, 2019 will sweep in, propelling us toward future shores. So while you prepare to body surf that beast, we hope you’ll resolve to submit some work to Elephants Never. To help, we present our list of New Year’s submission wishes. Surf’s up! New Year’s Submission Wishes Hopeful flash Read More
Tag: elephant jokes
Submissions Wishlist
On October 19, 2018, Elephants Never turns one year old! You may commence with celebratory trumpeting. Now, we don’t mean to seem forward. But while waiting for the caterers, we’ve penned a little birthday wishlist. Behold, therefore, five kinds of submissions we’d like to receive more of in our inbox. Birthday Wishlist More elephant art Paint a pachyderm, draw a Read More
Trees?
While you ponder how pachyderms get into trees, take some time to read Linda M. Crate‘s poem, ‘the last laugh.’ Or peruse our recent trunkated tale about how elephants never outwit. (Do you notice a theme here?) And for some history behind the green-and-white joke card above, check out our brief discussion of ‘Elephant Jokes.’ Now, without further ado, Read More
While you ponder how pachyderms get into trees, take some time to read Linda M. Crate‘s poem, ‘the last laugh.’ Or peruse our recent trunkated tale about how elephants never outwit. (Do you notice a theme here?) And for some history behind the green-and-white joke card above, check out our brief discussion of ‘Elephant Jokes.’
Now, without further ado, you’ve earned an answer about the trees.
Silly Card
Full disclosure, when planning to launch this website, I Googled. I fed both “elephants never” and “an elephant never” into searches. So I knew before this week that elephants never baguette had a precursor. Moreover, I made sure to have Phoebe the pachyderm baker quote this silly card from Jelly Armchair. I did not, however, realize until today that I Read More
Resent
“Alright, I got one,” slurred Don from the head of the table, prompting eye rolls. “How do you shoot a blue elephant?” Edna’s trunk froze halfway to her mouth, salad tumbling onto the tablecloth. She looked down to see how much skin she had visible, and then immediately hated herself for doing so. “With a blue elephant gun!” chortled Don, Read More
Let (Friends Drive Drunk)
“Alright, I give, how can you tell if there is a pachyderm in the bathtub with you?” “You can smell the peanuts on his breath!” Ethan trumpets loudly, like he’s just told the funniest joke he knows. Rick feels a little fuzzy, but maybe not drunk enough to laugh at that one. “Yeeeah, maybe keep your gig at the zoo, Read More
5 Things Elephants Never Get
Here are 5 things elephants never get for Christmas, but always wish for anyway: Peace on earth and goodwill toward everyone Round tennis shoes An end to the ivory trade Pogo sticks Wool trunk warmers