Do you remember when reality TV began? I do. First seasons of Survivor, The Bachelor, and American Idol all aired while I pretended to study for undergrad exams. My suite-mates and I watched Kelly Clarkson sing to stardom in our common room. When they decided to bring Trista Rehn back for the first season of The Bachelorette, we celebrated. Those Read More
Tag: elephants never
Spit
“You shot your wine outta your trunk at her? I don’t care what she said to you, that ain’t right.” “Oh come on, like I’m supposed to let her talk ’bout my weight, my ears, my brother? And not do somethin’ about it?” “Whatever, li’l Miss Floppy Ears. That was some honest trash talk, and you coulda returned kind for Read More
Remember Our Veterans
Today in the United States, we honor all people, living and dead, who have served in the military. Similarly, the United Kingdom remembers all those who have died while serving in the military. I realize I cannot adequately address or even list all of the issues and opinions tied up in our feelings about these two holidays. Please forgive my Read More
Submit
“It is over, Philandro.” Leopard-headed Kotiya crossed his brawny arms and bared his fangs at the prisoner. Around him, the man-handed hyenas of the crater valley cackled evilly. Philandro knelt, his thick, gray legs chained and bent uncomfortably beneath him. A second set of shackles wrapped his forelimbs, linked to his tusks, and even circled the midpoint of his trunk. Read More
Elephants Remember the 5th of November
Remember, remember the 5th of November… Guy Fawkes Night has arrived, and with it, an opportunity. Now, before anyone suggests blowing something up, let’s take a look at the holiday and consider fomenting rebellion with ballots, not bombs. Guy Fawkes Night Remember, remember! The fifth of November, The Gunpowder treason and plot; I know of no reason Why the Gunpowder Read More
Foment
Initially, they had tagged Elsalore as one of the ringleaders. A big female with multiple piercings, Elsalore had a penchant for throwing her considerable weight around. She showed open disdain for rank and title. And she would trumpet her strong opinions at whomever she wished. Captain Hobart, in particular, had been cowed by her on more than one occasion. When Read More
Happy Halloween!
Elephants never flit? Meet the elebat.
Flit
Our new marketing director is a ponderous individual. Heavyset and rumpled in appearance, he doesn’t project hip, lean, or flexible. His head sways slightly from side to side when he walks. He actively polishes his ivories, and he dresses in tailored, three-piece suits. The whole look lends him an air of gravitas and age. People see a lawyerly grandfather rather Read More
5 Things Elephants Never Forget
Their keys π Where they parked the car Their heads, even when they’re not attached A pen
Forget
Bob kept his head down as he frantically packed his bag. He should have done this earlier, more casually. Now, it felt obvious. Risking a look at the clock, Bob saw 4:54. Almost there. A tap of his BlackBerry screen revealed no new emails. He had long since shut down the computer. The phone likewise remained mercifully silent. Bag packed, Read More