Tag: elephants never

Elephants Never Infest, Louse

“Well, the bad news is that you’ve definitely got a Pediculus pachydermis – elephant louse.” “Yuck, totally gross, like it has some weird tentacle thing hanging off the front!” “Yes, you’ve found its trunk. On the plus side, once we remove the louse, you shouldn’t get a recurrence. Elephants never infest.” Don’t forget to read “For the Love of Lice” Read More

Elephants Never Infest, Louse

“Well, the bad news is that you’ve definitely got a Pediculus pachydermis – elephant louse.”

“Yuck, totally gross, like it has some weird tentacle thing hanging off the front!”

“Yes, you’ve found its trunk. On the plus side, once we remove the louse, you shouldn’t get a recurrence. Elephants never infest.”

Don’t forget to read “For the Love of Lice” by Amy Alexander, a story about facing life’s problems – great and small – as a family.

And check out “Leaving for College” by Kim Luxoro, a parent’s letter to her child about things to never forget.

Regret

Regret

Posted on by Andre

“No!” Phelaine bellowed, crashing a gray fist down onto the control panel. “The electromagnetic radiation’s fried the jump circuits.” She gestured at the red-flashing screen with her trunk. “We can take off, but we’ll never outrun that thing without jumping!” She trumpeted, a brash, purposeless sound. Then her massive head slumped forward. Above, “that thing” roiled across the monitors. From Read More

Prevent

Prevent

Posted on by Andre

The matriarch leads her family along the path. Wet season has given way to dry, as she remembered it would, and they march north. She recalls a place of grass and shallow pools, through the jungles, over the hills, that way. So she walks in front, and the herd follows. To navigate, the matriarch does not imagine what might lie Read More

Depend

Depend

Posted on by Andre

“Elephants never depend,” say the males. They repeat it on the fringe, outside the herds. When a young male leaves his mothers, the fathers rumble to him that masculine wisdom. They use it to impart strength and dispel responsibility. Adolescents trumpet it when females drive them off, hardness between their legs and blood-heat sweating their cheeks. When the fraternal groups rupture during Read More

Remit

Remit

Posted on by Andre

“Is dis gonna become a ting?” “No, boss, we’re on it. The guy’s big, but he’s not unreasonable.” “I eva tell ya how ya shoot a pink elephant?” “It won’t come to that. Mr. Yderm just needs reminding about his obligations. Tony’s over there now reminding him about the money he owes us.” “Remindin? I tought dey neva ferget?” “What? Read More

Foresee

Posted on by Andre

Enyo has committed one of the classic blunders. She’s started a land war in Asia. At least her opponent isn’t a Sicilian, and death is not on the line. Enyo moves to reinforce her front lines, and I gently tap her muscular, gray arm. She pauses, recognizing the signal, and reconsiders everyone’s troop positions. The board game Risk dominates our kitchen Read More

Quit

Quit

Posted on by Andre

Insanity is performing the same action over and over again, yet expecting a different outcome. Or something like that. I don’t care which famous intellect said that originally. Narrators and news anchors quote it all the time on TV to explain a character who’s obsessed or stuck in a hopeless rut. The quote, however, ignores a simple caveat: It’s really Read More

Repent

Posted on by Andre

  For the Toupee From offstage, the speaker emerges. At first, his odd proportions and wrinkly visage underwhelm. His chin, weaker than one might expect, rises into a decided pout. Yet, a gleaming, golden wave crowns his head, and draws upward each critical eye. Secure beneath his helm of sweeping follicles, he begins. He speaks in falsehoods. White lies and Read More

July 4th

Posted on by Andre

Happy July 4th to all the people and pachyderms of the United States of America! We don’t often feel united these days, and protests seem to happen more than parades. Indeed, to find a song that really moves my patriotism, I look to a musical number from the 1940s. Elephants never admit, but that image of America as savior, guiding Read More

Half-Year Update

Half-Year Update

Posted on by Andre

In case you missed it, the calendar changed over to July this past Sunday. So, let’s check in on our New Year’s Resolutions. And maybe, in offering a half-year update to the world, each of us can renew our commitment to our goals. Oh, and no judgment if you need to completely rewrite your goals. Elephants never reject necessary change. Read More