forsakes Archives - Elephants Never

Your Hometown Is an Apocalypse

Andre — Mon, 04 Nov 2019 12:30:04 +0000

by Justin Karcher Buzzfeed tells methat the world is endingjust as it’s always beenand they’re probably right the night sky where I grew upalways felt like a run-on sentencetoo many dashed dreamscompeting for spacethey all blended togetheryou could never tell the narrativejust that it was a desperate onethe stars were apostrophes that didn’t really belongbut we put them in there Read More

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Let Him Know

Andre — Mon, 09 Sep 2019 12:00:43 +0000

by Kristin Garth She will not ask you to explain. Evenhalf women comprehend who is to blamefor plots where girls remove their clothes — reasonyou sit, alone, exposed in frigid shame, shuddering chest. She will approach you slowwith only one request — when he would kissthis poisoned neck, taste his death, let him knowthe cause was disrespect — damsels dismissed Read More

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Duolingo Ponies

Andre — Tue, 13 Nov 2018 12:00:22 +0000

by Ray Ball, PhD My horse does not eat rice. I admit the horse is the horse I have only ever had between outwitting advertisements. I can’t omit to tell you the horse drinks milk. My ponies probably have flanks, shiny with sweat, but I don’t know the words for shiny or flank yet. For pony either. Is it the Read More

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Half Birthday

Andre — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 14:49:03 +0000

Pardon the interruption, but we would like to take a moment to celebrate. Today Elephants Never celebrates our half birthday. Thank you to everyone who has read our Trunkated Tales and B-Sides. And welcome if you’ve discovered us for the first time. To celebrate six months online, we offer six pachyderm proverbs that illustrate our plans and thoughts for the Read More

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Resolutions

Andre — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 16:00:54 +0000

Happy New Year from Elephants Never! I hope you’re not tired of the year after just a week. (Although the cold and much-hyped “bomb cyclone” certainly made this a tough week for many of us.) While you and your herd get busy living 2018, permit me to share my New Year’s resolutions with you. Setting Goals If you haven’t recently, Read More

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Adopt an Elephant

Andre — Sun, 10 Dec 2017 15:51:35 +0000

If you enjoy pachyderms as much as we do, great opportunities abound to adopt an elephant or contribute to pachyderm preservation efforts. Elephants Never has pledged support to our namesakes, and we invite you to join us. Elephant Fun It’s all fun and games until somebody loses a spleen! – Youth Hockey Coach Elephants Never began with an impulse: “Wouldn’t Read More

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Forsake

Andre — Thu, 07 Dec 2017 12:30:03 +0000

I sit by the window in the dining room, staring out at a landscaped, artistic yard I no longer see beauty in. My coffee has grown cold, and I’ve told my one remaining servant to let it be. Even if he warms it up, I won’t drink it. The spring blossoms have begun to forsake their trees. Summer’s heat will Read More

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Ebb Tide

Andre — Sat, 25 Nov 2017 15:00:16 +0000

In case you had not guessed it, I am a fan of elephants — wild pachyderms, cartoon elephants, stuffies, whatever. And I am inclined, in this space, to endorse those adopting an elephant logo, mascot, or business purpose. Sadly, however, not all who invoke the elephant can be part of this herd. Which brings me to Alabama football. Because contrary Read More

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