The figurines had not failed, and bore no connection to his troubles. Others could keep their superstitious beliefs about pachyderm statues. He simply liked elephants. For instance, he had not placed trumpeting elephants by the bed to ensure passion and fertility. No, they just complemented the wood. Factors outside the bedroom had ruined their love life and prevented the reconciling balm of Read More
Tag: pachyderms
Perfect
by Normand Lepine I am Nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. – Dandi Daley Mackall, Love Rules Sometimes I wonder why I even come here. It’s so depressing on days like this. I don’t have my regular energy after a long day and longer week. Then I look around and feel so little compared to the bigger bulls. Read More
Celebratory Collage
To our readers and contributors, thank you for a wonderful first year, from our whole herd! In celebration, we present this collage of memories because, oh, you know. – Elephants Never
To our readers and contributors, thank you for a wonderful first year, from our whole herd!
In celebration, we present this collage of memories because, oh, you know. – Elephants Never
Reflect
Rick eases onto a stool as the counter server sets down his mug. On the makeshift stage in the corner, Powell starts a new song. “Yeah, big guy, that’s the one!” Rick yells, mug halfway to his lips. Then more softly, “Mmm, good coffee. Zoning board must require proof of coffee quality if you call it a ‘diner’. Oh, and Read More
Lament
City elephants never lament. We gave it up when we moved off the savanna. For one thing, city code discourages open-air burials. And everything needs a permit, even public displays of mourning. It makes sense. Can you imagine if we did it the old way? Traffic remains snarled near Columbus Circle while fifteen pachyderms continue their vigil for a herd member who Read More
Elephants Never Let Their Loved Ones Die Alone
by Elisabeth Horan Elephants never let their loved ones Die alone Never let God come first for their tired, Broken bones But protect the soul from jackals, Hyenas Endeavor to prevent the cruel rape of her Ivory for profit Elephants enact their ceremony; Create a circle of love and protection For a friend, a loved one; A child, a mother. Read More
Three Facts and a Rhyme
by J. Douglas Johnson An elephant never bothers about the impossible obstacles. Their obstinacy in the face of hardship is practically world-famous. For this reason an elephant herd trouping through the desert is also sometimes called a persistence. Clearly this is not the “immovable object” kind of obstinacy, grumbly-grey and hard-headed as you might imagine the parched and cracked pachyderm. Read More
Trees?
While you ponder how pachyderms get into trees, take some time to read Linda M. Crate‘s poem, ‘the last laugh.’ Or peruse our recent trunkated tale about how elephants never outwit. (Do you notice a theme here?) And for some history behind the green-and-white joke card above, check out our brief discussion of ‘Elephant Jokes.’ Now, without further ado, Read More
While you ponder how pachyderms get into trees, take some time to read Linda M. Crate‘s poem, ‘the last laugh.’ Or peruse our recent trunkated tale about how elephants never outwit. (Do you notice a theme here?) And for some history behind the green-and-white joke card above, check out our brief discussion of ‘Elephant Jokes.’
Now, without further ado, you’ve earned an answer about the trees.
Outwit
Ephsta had just reached the tree line when her walkie-talkie crackled. “Everybody in position?” asked the blue team leader. Ephsta joined the series of affirmative sound-offs. “Great. Now remember,” the leader continued, “we’re at the boundary of the red base. So they could be anywhere from here on in.” Ephsta tensed and immediately perked up her flopping ears. “And most importantly, we Read More
Fretful Baking
We present this fretful baking tableau in gratitude for Elephants Never Fret by Roppotucha Greenberg. Here’s one more sample, in case we’ve not yet convinced you to read the full story: I stop feeling guilty for existing. Instead I think: maybe other people are people with stories of their own, my elephantine worries about them notwithstanding. – Elephants Never Fret, Read More
We present this fretful baking tableau in gratitude for Elephants Never Fret by Roppotucha Greenberg. Here’s one more sample, in case we’ve not yet convinced you to read the full story:
I stop feeling guilty for existing. Instead I think: maybe other people are people with stories of their own, my elephantine worries about them notwithstanding. – Elephants Never Fret, Roppotucha Greenberg
Roppotucha also contributed the delightful baker above, while the mug came from Primitive Beginnings.