by Lamar Neal
I once thought my body was hideous,
Filled with reminders why no one called me their own.
At such a tender age, I lived envious
Broken that puberty was my curse and others’ milestone.
I couldn’t understand why God
Didn’t give me a reason to hold my head high.
The only time people were awed
By my appearance was when it was time to crucify.
I heard it all –
Why are you so skinny?
You need to eat a sandwich.
You look like a starving African.
I learned to keep my eyes down,
To show everyone in this world I knew my place.
I spent my childhood on the ground
With tears rolling down and burning my face.
But I’m not a child anymore
Confused and lost by what is expected of me.
To breathe is no longer a hopeless chore,
I broke from constructs and learned to be happy freely.
Lamar Neal is a poet and author, whose work has been described as “imaginative, mysterious, emotional, and passionate.” His poetry collections and novel are available through Amazon, including his latest, We All Need Therapy. To read more of his work, check out his Instagram (Username: Theghostcharades).
(And don’t miss Lamar’s poem I Just Wanted to Feel Normal. – Elephants Never)
The Sunday Solace series focuses on mental health and medication. We hope to provide a judgment-free space to explore and discuss our struggles in a creative manner.