The evening commute on the NYC subway system requires one to maintain patience, divest oneself of personal space, and ignore a substantial amount of noise. I do none of those three things well. My huge ears pick up far too much commuter crazy. No body configuration allows me to stand comfortably without jostling humans. And I’m a city pachyderm; I Read More
Category: Trunkated Tales
Trunkated tales demonstrate uncommon pachyderm proverbs that begin with “elephants never…” Each flash fiction tale features at least one elephant in a strikingly human situation. Most tales also occur in a world similar to our own, with the obvious exception of talking pachyderms having a prominent place in human society. Otherwise, trunkated tales create their own realities.
Foretell
“Come on, dude, just try it,” said Geoff, pushing the transparent sphere at Pacey. The big male shoved it away. His ears flapped as he shook his head. “Nope, not happening,” Pacey said. “What? Come on,” chirped Geoff. “It’s a friggin’ crystal ball! Take it for a spin.” “Elephants never foretell,” said Pacey. “What? What is that? A family motto?” Geoff Read More
Let (Friends Drive Drunk)
“Alright, I give, how can you tell if there is a pachyderm in the bathtub with you?” “You can smell the peanuts on his breath!” Ethan trumpets loudly, like he’s just told the funniest joke he knows. Rick feels a little fuzzy, but maybe not drunk enough to laugh at that one. “Yeeeah, maybe keep your gig at the zoo, Read More
Get (Coal)
“Coal? Coal?! Elephants never get coal. Whose rear brain kicked in and made you think of giving me COAL!?!” Evelyn’s voice got louder and shriller as disbelief and indignation sank in. “What, you think Santa Claus will save your saggy butt from a whooping when I find you?!” Evelyn tossed the Christmas stocking to the floor and trumpeted, blowing off Read More
Fit
“Look, I really don’t understand what the problem is. I built you a customized minivan, to your own specifications no less! And now when you’ve come to take possession, you’re changing your minds?” “It’s really good work. We like it, we really do.” “But we just have some concerns about whether the interior space will really work with our family’s Read More
Forsake
I sit by the window in the dining room, staring out at a landscaped, artistic yard I no longer see beauty in. My coffee has grown cold, and I’ve told my one remaining servant to let it be. Even if he warms it up, I won’t drink it. The spring blossoms have begun to forsake their trees. Summer’s heat will Read More
Knit
Elina has been my friend through six crazy years of high school and college. Moving in together, however, marks the start of a new adventure. I have to outfit us properly for the journey. When a classmate first introduced Elina to me at a party, I didn’t think we’d get along. For starters, I prefer lounging on couches and worming Read More
Set
“Elgin,” called the mother pachyderm over her shoulder, not moving from the counter. No response. She leaned back and aimed her voice at the living room. “Elgin!” “What?” came the surly male voice. “Get in here!” No response. With a huff, the mother, Pauline, shook the water off her forelimbs and moved to the living room door. She trumpeted. Just Read More
Spit
“You shot your wine outta your trunk at her? I don’t care what she said to you, that ain’t right.” “Oh come on, like I’m supposed to let her talk ’bout my weight, my ears, my brother? And not do somethin’ about it?” “Whatever, li’l Miss Floppy Ears. That was some honest trash talk, and you coulda returned kind for Read More
Submit
“It is over, Philandro.” Leopard-headed Kotiya crossed his brawny arms and bared his fangs at the prisoner. Around him, the man-handed hyenas of the crater valley cackled evilly. Philandro knelt, his thick, gray legs chained and bent uncomfortably beneath him. A second set of shackles wrapped his forelimbs, linked to his tusks, and even circled the midpoint of his trunk. Read More