Prevent

The matriarch leads her family along the path. Wet season has given way to dry, as she remembered it would, and they march north. She recalls a place of grass and shallow pools, through the jungles, over the hills, that way. So she walks in front, and the herd follows. To navigate, the matriarch does not imagine what might lie Read More

Depend

“Elephants never depend,” say the males. They repeat it on the fringe, outside the herds. When a young male leaves his mothers, the fathers rumble to him that masculine wisdom. They use it to impart strength and dispel responsibility. Adolescents trumpet it when females drive them off, hardness between their legs and blood-heat sweating their cheeks. When the fraternal groups rupture during Read More

Remit

“Is dis gonna become a ting?” “No, boss, we’re on it. The guy’s big, but he’s not unreasonable.” “I eva tell ya how ya shoot a pink elephant?” “It won’t come to that. Mr. Yderm just needs reminding about his obligations. Tony’s over there now reminding him about the money he owes us.” “Remindin? I tought dey neva ferget?” “What? Read More

Foresee

Enyo has committed one of the classic blunders. She’s started a land war in Asia. At least her opponent isn’t a Sicilian, and death is not on the line. Enyo moves to reinforce her front lines, and I gently tap her muscular, gray arm. She pauses, recognizing the signal, and reconsiders everyone’s troop positions. The board game Risk dominates our kitchen Read More

Quit

Insanity is performing the same action over and over again, yet expecting a different outcome. Or something like that. I don’t care which famous intellect said that originally. Narrators and news anchors quote it all the time on TV to explain a character who’s obsessed or stuck in a hopeless rut. The quote, however, ignores a simple caveat: It’s really Read More

Repent

  For the Toupee From offstage, the speaker emerges. At first, his odd proportions and wrinkly visage underwhelm. His chin, weaker than one might expect, rises into a decided pout. Yet, a gleaming, golden wave crowns his head, and draws upward each critical eye. Secure beneath his helm of sweeping follicles, he begins. He speaks in falsehoods. White lies and Read More

July 4th

Happy July 4th to all the people and pachyderms of the United States of America! We don’t often feel united these days, and protests seem to happen more than parades. Indeed, to find a song that really moves my patriotism, I look to a musical number from the 1940s. Elephants never admit, but that image of America as savior, guiding Read More

Half-Year Update

In case you missed it, the calendar changed over to July this past Sunday. So, let’s check in on our New Year’s Resolutions. And maybe, in offering a half-year update to the world, each of us can renew our commitment to our goals. Oh, and no judgment if you need to completely rewrite your goals. Elephants never reject necessary change. Read More

Whet (the Appetite)

The smell on the wind perplexes me. Heavily musky yet thinly rank, the odor possesses weight and weakness. As I follow the scent up the hill, I wonder what manner of beast I will encounter. Certainly, I do not expect some sickly gnu. And healthy rhinos give off an acrid aroma that most predators describe as “rage.” No, this beast Read More

Sweat

Elewisa stands at the podium, redirecting dangerous questions while keeping on message. The bright, flashing lights bathe him in heat, and the reporters hunger for a juicy story. Yet, Elewisa’s huge, gray feet do not budge. He remains cool, calm, unflappable. Massive ears shiver in the breeze. (Well, almost unflappable.) A solid boulder amid the chaos. And not a drop Read More