Steven liked big girls, and Emelia was the biggest beautiful girl around. She had showed up for their date wearing a white sweater and a flared pink skirt that teased all sorts of gray flesh. When he noticed the hairy tip of her tail just poking out in back, his body got excited in all sorts of ways. The date Read More
Tag: elephants never
Desist
by Jack Caseros She tells me she is here to remove obstacles. The nails in the wall, the gaped-mouth hooks, the empty picture frames. The house has had many lives before me. Now they are in the way of her baby elephant painting. The painting is life-sized. When Shreya drags it inside the screen door flaps against the canvas like Read More
Portend
The figurines had not failed, and bore no connection to his troubles. Others could keep their superstitious beliefs about pachyderm statues. He simply liked elephants. For instance, he had not placed trumpeting elephants by the bed to ensure passion and fertility. No, they just complemented the wood. Factors outside the bedroom had ruined their love life and prevented the reconciling balm of Read More
Elephants Never Reflect – Vampire Edition
Countess Phantula has arrived to say Happy Halloween to all the pachyderm ghouls and zombies. Just, don’t expect to see her in a mirror. Elephants never reflect. You may also enjoy her elebat form.
Countess Phantula has arrived to say Happy Halloween to all the pachyderm ghouls and zombies. Just, don’t expect to see her in a mirror. Elephants never reflect. You may also enjoy her elebat form.
Perfect
by Normand Lepine I am Nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. – Dandi Daley Mackall, Love Rules Sometimes I wonder why I even come here. It’s so depressing on days like this. I don’t have my regular energy after a long day and longer week. Then I look around and feel so little compared to the bigger bulls. Read More
Net
“So this season, I’m breaking in a new crew member.” Cut to Paige standing by the fishing rods in the stern, waving one big forelimb. Return to Dave’s diary. He wipes his forehead. “Yeah, after that swordfish incident last season, Sully bailed on the ocean, decided to stay on land.” Cut to replay, paramedics clustering around Sully on dock, paying Read More
Celebratory Collage
To our readers and contributors, thank you for a wonderful first year, from our whole herd! In celebration, we present this collage of memories because, oh, you know. – Elephants Never
To our readers and contributors, thank you for a wonderful first year, from our whole herd!
In celebration, we present this collage of memories because, oh, you know. – Elephants Never
Submissions Wishlist
On October 19, 2018, Elephants Never turns one year old! You may commence with celebratory trumpeting. Now, we don’t mean to seem forward. But while waiting for the caterers, we’ve penned a little birthday wishlist. Behold, therefore, five kinds of submissions we’d like to receive more of in our inbox. Birthday Wishlist More elephant art Paint a pachyderm, draw a Read More
Reflect
Rick eases onto a stool as the counter server sets down his mug. On the makeshift stage in the corner, Powell starts a new song. “Yeah, big guy, that’s the one!” Rick yells, mug halfway to his lips. Then more softly, “Mmm, good coffee. Zoning board must require proof of coffee quality if you call it a ‘diner’. Oh, and Read More
Lament
City elephants never lament. We gave it up when we moved off the savanna. For one thing, city code discourages open-air burials. And everything needs a permit, even public displays of mourning. It makes sense. Can you imagine if we did it the old way? Traffic remains snarled near Columbus Circle while fifteen pachyderms continue their vigil for a herd member who Read More